Be Your Own Valentine
February is the month of love – a time for romance and grand gestures of affection, largely due to the prominence of a hallmark holiday known as Valentine’s Day. For those who are single, in recovery, or focusing on personal growth, this holiday can sometimes feel isolating or overwhelming. According to a study by Mental Health America, loneliness is one of the leading contributors to relapse. These heightened emotions can make it difficult to stay focused on sobriety. However, February doesn’t have to be about external validation – it can be an opportunity to cultivate self-love, prioritize your commitment to recovery, and nurture inner peace.
Valentine’s Day often places an undue emphasis on romantic relationships. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy or loneliness for those who are not in traditional partnerships. Society frequently pushes the idea that love must come from others, but true fulfillment begins within. Rather than seeing February as a month of longing, it can be reframed as a time to focus on self-compassion, resilience, and personal well-being.
Loving yourself means accepting where you are in life, embracing your journey, and recognizing that your worth is not determined by a relationship status. This is especially important for those in recovery – whether from addiction, trauma, or mental health struggles – as self-care is the foundation of long-term healing.
For individuals navigating recovery, self-love is not just a concept – it is a crucial tool in maintaining progress. Recovery requires patience, forgiveness, and daily commitment to self-care. It can take on many forms, including setting boundaries and saying no to toxic relationships, harmful habits, or any situation that doesn’t fall in line with your healing journey. Carving out the time to be present with your thoughts and emotions to process feelings without judgement is another great way to show up for yourself.
Other acts of love include prioritizing your physical health by nourishing your body with healthy food, exercise, and restful sleep. Going to therapy for guidance from professionals or participating in support groups to lean on a community to reinforce positive habits are also great ways to love yourself. Perhaps the biggest one of all is forgiving yourself and understanding that past mistakes don’t define you. Growth is an ongoing circular process.
Perhaps this year, you can create your own traditions so that you’re able to celebrate a day of love the way you want to. Here are just a few ideas:
- Treat Yourself: Buy yourself flowers, cook your favorite meal, or indulge in a book, movie, or activity that inspires hope and positivity. Light candles and take a bubble bath – treat it like a spa day at home.
- Write a Love Letter to Yourself: Acknowledge your strengths, growth, and resilience. Reflect on how far you’ve come and where you want to go. Save it so that you can read it in a year and see how much you’ve grown.
- Engage in Creative Expression: Art, music, journaling, or any form of creative outlet can be a therapeutic way to connect with yourself. If you’re not feeling artistic yourself, go to a museum, concert, musical, or play to support the arts and feed your soul at the same time.
- Practice Gratitude: Focus on what you appreciate about yourself and the positive aspects of your life, rather than what may be missing. Make a list, so that it’s written down and you read it again when you need to remind yourself the most.
- Spend Time with Supportive People: Surround yourself with individuals who uplift and encourage you. Plan a “Galentine’s” or “Palentine’s” celebration with close friends. Whether it’s volunteering, mini-golfing, bowling, a dinner party, game night, escape room, or a simple coffee date, being with supportive people can uplift your spirits. They say you are who you spend your time with – so make sure you like what you see.
If you are in a relationship, here are romantic ways to celebrate without alcohol or substances:
- Cook a Sober Dinner Together: Plan a meal with mocktails or sparkling water, focusing on creating a cozy, intimate setting. Try recipes from your favorite chef or cooking show. Plan as many courses as you like to make it interesting and special.
- Take a Class: Try a couple’s yoga class, cooking lesson, or art workshop to bond in a fun and engaging way. There’s something for everyone.
- Have a Night In: Save your money on the hubbub of going out and watch a movie – it could be romantic or one of your favorites. Play board games, cards, or do a puzzle together.
- Write Each Other Letters: Exchange heartfelt notes about what you appreciate in one another.
- Go Outdoors: Take a walk in a park, go for a hike, or watch the sunset together for a calming and romantic experience. Studies have found that being in nature does wonders for your mental health and makes people happier.
Instead of dreading February and all the cards, chocolates, and flowers that come with it, see it as an opportunity to embrace the most important relationship of all – the one with yourself. Love is not exclusive to couples. It exists in friendships, self-compassion, and the daily choices we make that lead to a life we’ve curated. For those in recovery, self-love is an essential part of healing. Remember that millions of people celebrate this day solo. Be kind to yourself, honor your journey, and remember that love – the real kind of lasting love that makes your heart smile – begins and ends with you.
Remember, you’re not alone – there’s a community of support available to you. If it ever becomes too overwhelming, call Hickory Recovery Network at 1-800-604-2117 to speak to one of our specialists who will walk you through your options.
